Thursday.. well ive almost made it through another week

well another week is almost done and of course theres always ALWAYS something going on in my life.. last night i was lazy i didnt wanna cook so we got chinese.. i ate a little of lukes chicken and 2 egg rolls omg they were good.. greg is trying his best to cut back on coca cola and therefore im making tea like a mad woman in my house.. my children i swear they think its the best thing since sliced bread! but its ok.. its decaf and they dont know it! LOL

so i did sleep a little better last night however i did hit my freaking snooze button way too many times and i didnt wanna get up this morning..but its a new day..and though i have a headache.. ill be ok.. workin on that first cup of pure absolute heaven.. java.. coffee. the liquid gold! LOL my goal today is to get MORE water in than yesterday and to be more aware of whats in my mouth..

so my sweet mandy never texted me and let me know how the jo bros were.. i wonder if they scooped her up and took her away?? lol.. and well i got the dreaded call last night from the BF's mom.. mandy has been taling about going to the river with J for the longest time and well i have not had the call and well the mom called last night.. i think we are gonna let her go b/c his mom is so much like me.. we are both super over protective and she has already stated.. ill be watching them like a hawk and that he will be sleeping with his dad and she will be in the LR with his mom.. so i know how teenagers are...and well her and i talked about that in detail.. so im stuck.. do i let her go or not? my heart says give the girl a chance.. my head is saying OMG no.. of course her step dad is saying its up to you but .. blah blah blah.. well im supposed to go meet and talk with his mom more and i think im gonna try and let her go.. i know that if i never trust her she will run in the opposite direction..mandy is TOO much like me not to.. we are so much alike in so many ways and i know that shes got just enough rebellion in her that she would sneak vs. being open..and well right now she tells me EVERYTHING.. and i like that and i wanna keep that.. so im gonna have to really pray on this one..

why is parenting so freaking hard?? i swear theres not a manual, book, cd, movie, talk show host, internet blog, or website that can actually help you.. it is all trial and error and i always fear the ERROR!!!

so today i get new tires.. can i tell you that i feel so happy i could scream like a little girl.. i know its ridiculous but i know my car will ride SOO Much better.. yes i have to pay for them and yes that sucks so bad i hate it... but omg the ride is gonna be sooo much better

im supposed to go to South Hill to see my grandma on sat.. im worried and scared and really struggling .. she has refused any supplemental feeding or breathing and has signed a DNR.. i know why.. and i can understand..but at the same time im mad.. i dont wanna lose her.. i know have not been to see her like i should lately. but its because im scared.. i know her health has gone down sooo mcuh since her bypass..and well i hate it.. i want my Nannie E back that i remember.. i want to have the Nannie i woudl sit and talk to forever.. i want that nannie that had that smile that NO one could forget.. i dont want that Nannie in a hospital wasting away and giving up on life.. im bitter and im mad and i dont wanna lose her!

so onward to today.. greg is working seven days and that sucks b/c it means we wont go on the boat again this weekend and im really really sad! :( my tan is fading so freakin fast and i hate it..

so lets hope that today is a better day food wise and thought wise and that one day ill get my head on straight.. im trying so hard and failing so much ..it gets really old.. day after day after day!