well the song is paradise.. but not what i was feeling today.. so i slept in a bit and woke up with a HELLACIOUS headache.. yes it deserved to be yelled at... and i wish i had.. god my head was hurting.. Greg was at work so i did take advantage of havin the bed to myself.. needless to say i feel asleep with haley and woke up when the alarm went off at 425 this morning.. that part really sucked.. but i fell back to sleep easily..
so today luke and haley and i went to south hill to visit my grandmother... i was not looking forward to it but i knew it would mean alot to her and to my heart.. so we got to mamas and cam katie and hayden were there.. i love being with my family ... its always so freakin hard to leave but today i knew that greg wasnt with me and he would want me to come on home.. but we enjoyed some time together and laughed alot as usual.. mama and the kids and i then went to visit Nana D.. she was doing well and of course doesnt always remember us but she does remember me.. mama said when she told her i was there she got so excited she said she couldnt remember the lady she was talkin with name.. that makes my heart smile.. as we walked out i was laughing and she hugged me and said you still have that same chuckle.. i sure do love my nana! then we went to see nannie e.. it was so hard to see her like that.. shes gotten so frail and looks so sad. she is confused and weak and it hurts .. i want my nannie e back not the lady i had to see today who doesnt eat and cant sit up or do anything for herself shes so weak.. but i knew i needed to go..after that i was ready to come home really didnt wanna do anything else.. the kids of course love to be at memes and were sad that we couldnt go to cams... i texted katie and told her i was gonna come soon and stay as late as i could so we could talk all night.. she just laughed! hayden is walking now and omg is she adorable! i swear i love that kid to pieces!!!
mandy is due back tomorrow and hasnt been brought home early so im hoping that means she has behaved.. she said her phone died so i hope to hear from her soon.. haley is missin her sissy i know that!
eating wasnt horrible today and i did the best i could.. for bfast i had a wheat bagel with sausage egg and cheese and coffee and lunch was basically some rice chex (eaten dry like a snack).. i nibbled some at mamas.. but did good.. dinner was a kids cup sized chocolate shake.. really no appetite tonight.. i surely needed more water than i got in...but im trying!
i hope tomorrow we can get on the boat though my husband has gotten this thing in his head that he wants a freaking grapevine.. i have NO idea where his ideas come from but once he gets one..it NEVER goes away.. lmao!
its my plan to get back to eating properly on monday and to call the dr to see if he has had any cancellations for me to come in earlier to talk to him.. i know hell do a panel of blood work and basically get me on a plan.. i figure if i have to pay for it.. ill stick to it.. i need something to kick me in my ass thats for sure!
well just figured i needed to blog for the day! nothing too deep today.. my brain is kinda in standby mode and trying my best to soak in all from the day.. i try so hard to keep my thoughts clear and my mind more positive but i do not succeed very often!
but as for the moment.. the voices arent saying a lot today
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